Yes, I wish to receive exclusive discounts, special offers and competitions from our partners. Privacy Policy. So I'm curious about something. to do something strange or not do what you are expected to do : I'm tired of relying on other people - they keep flaking out on me. Whether someone will be upset if you flake out depends not only on the person but also on the situation. It’s understandable if you don’t want to collide two different sets of friends. Either way you have to start with the same thing: an apology. stranded. Your best option is to not make those plans, but if you need to bow out, here's how to do it gracefully. Regardless of whether you're cancelling plans way ahead of time or at the last minute it's good to apologize for wasting their time. Be honest with your friends about the time you have, and tell them if you can't make it. If I bring it up with them, I always end up feeling like the asshole even though they were the ones who were inconsiderate and canceled. To renege, as on a social engagement: Sorry for flaking out on you last night—I had to work late. Photo by Wonderlane. You probably won’t have to worry about him flaking on you after this. Most people need to grow-up IMO. dumped. Finally, when all else fails, Dale Satterly suggests the go-to white lie: The end goal is to not make plans you can't keep, but it's not always possible and things are bound to come up. quit. The overwhelming response was to simply not cancel, but a few other suggestions crept up. Suck it up and accept the fact you’re a jerk. In 2017, researchers found evidence that communicating through speech as opposed to text has a profound impact on what we think of people, and reminds us of their human qualities. Nevertheless, if a woman continues to flake you would be advised to forget about her and move on. Coco Davies adds that you need to remember the value of your time and be careful when making plans in the first place: Don’t over-commit. These people don’t stay my friends for very long. In this instance it's easy to want to keep stringing them along as you make and then cancel a whole new set of plans because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. flake out 1. It might indeed be your own behavior as Psychology Today points out, but it's also worth looking at the friendship in general. Submitted by Geoffrey from San Francisco, CA, USA on Apr 22 1999. Anyone who flakes on another has no excuse. Just make sure you do your best to keep it honest. }. Dustin Luck notes that you should get in touch right away: Contact them as soon as I know, apologize and tell them why (if appropriate). abandoned. Remind yourself it isn’t your fault. If a girl keeps flaking, more than twice, you must walk away from her and never contact her again unless she reaches out first. When confronted with their behavior they usually get defensive and run away. Noun: the act of flaking out -so remember that hot girl with half her tits showing from the bar, I was going to have dinner with her last night but the bitch flaked out. Another word for flake out: collapse, faint, pass out, swoon, lose consciousness | Collins English Thesaurus But if a group of friends is just going out for a drink … I understand that we only have 24 hours in every day. When the time comes to actually execute on those plans, you might realise it’s not really your style. Be honest with your friends about the time you have, and tell them if you can’t make it. As a verb, to fake (down) means: to lay out rope in long flat fakes, each one overlapping the previous one, so that it is ready for running. Don't flake on me. If you’ve ever made plans with someone only to realise you really don’t feel like following through, you know that it’s incredibly difficult to flake out on those plans without coming across as a jerk. Test your knowledge - and maybe learn something a... Take the quiz; SCRABBLE® Sprint. If the answer is no, your behaviour needs modifying. Backing out, or giving up.She flaked on me. Last edited on Jul 24 2010. Which leads us to our next tip. Photo by Wonderlane. If you've ever made plans with someone only to realize you really don't feel like following through on them you know that it's incredibly difficult to flake out on those plans without being a jerk. But I probably just need to get over myself. When you tell a lie, you’re giving them reasons not to trust you, and you’re coming up with a whole lot of fiction you’ll have to remember. You've taken someone's time from them. Go crazy; also, cause someone to go crazy. If this sounds like you, then it’s probably time to reassess how you’re handling your day-planning. forsook. For instance, maybe you agreed to go to the amusement park, but when the planned day comes around, you remember that you hate amusement parks. abdicated. if (typeof siteads.queue !== 'undefined') { At least now you only have to wait 25 minutes instead of longer later on.” As I’ve said a few times already, flaky friends aren’t reliable and you can’t have … Photo by Alfonso Surroca. How about you? Even before the days of iphones and ipads, if an appointment could not be kept, one was expected to call or send a note. deserted. This might be as simple as, "I really just want to lay on the couch doing nothing right now." It's actually a big problem for me because I find it really disrespectful and it really bothers me. Apologise honestly, and they’ll be much more likely to take your side. To fail to meet someone … Flaky people have trouble managing their time, staying organized, and controlling their impulses, so they might forget things, be late, cancel plans, or have trouble keeping up with responsibilities. If you're an acquaintance and you flake, I don't really give a shit. Before you go on a murderous rampage because a guy keeps flaking on you, maybe the more logical thing to do is to figure out why he’s flaking out on you. Just imagine what he is like as a boyfriend! They want fake more than they want real. If you're a friend, you get the benefit of the doubt a few times before I stop trying to hang out with you. See more. How do you flake out on plans and still keep your friends? marooned. [clear], if (typeof siteads.queue !== 'undefined') { Etiquette blogger Emily Post points out a really good reason why: The person you’ve cancelled on could easily feel like second best, especially if you give the impression that this new opportunity appeals to you more than spending time with her. Get new friends. 3. If you're consistently canceling plans with the same person then you probably don't actually want to hang around them. Saying you have a headache means not only are you 1. a jerk this one time, you’re also 2. a liar, something which does more damage to the long-term relationship. if (typeof siteads.queue !== 'undefined') { To cancel a prearranged meeting or event, especially at the last minute; to fail to attend or go through with something. When you tell a lie you're giving them reasons not to trust you or worse, you're coming up with a whole fiction you'll have to remember. How do you flake out on plans and still keep your friends? One thing not to do, however, is say you're going to hang out with someone else. Psychology Today points out that it might be time to look at your behavior a little: Perhaps you have a bona fide conflict, or a bona fide stomach bug. jilted. Of course, it might also be a true emergency in which case you should still tell the truth. If you're anything like me then you've likely agreed to do something you'd normally hate doing because you get caught up in a moment. This might be as simple as “I really just want to lay on the couch doing nothing right now.” Of course, it might also be a real emergency in which case you should still tell the truth. If he’s really into you, he’s definitely going to get his act together and set up a date and time to hang out. Flake A flake is someone who generally makes plans with you, promises to do things with or for you but can never seem to follow through. Etiquette blogger Emily Post points out a really good reason why: The person you've canceled on could easily feel like second best, especially if you give the impression that this new opportunity appeals to you more than spending time with her. They've blocked off their schedule or modified it so they can see you. While the event might seem inconsequential to you it's possible your friend set aside a large block of time to hang out and you're ruining that. If you’re way attractive and I want to date you there’s a pretty high chance I’m … One thing not to do, however, is say you’re going to hang out with someone else. This also lets the woman know that you aren’t going to chase her because you don’t care if you see her or not. By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use and There is a slight chance that he’s doing this not because … 3 and 4 probably are derived from the adjective flaky, meaning “eccentric.” [c. 1970] 5 Be honest with yourself: did you truly intend to go in the first place? Why would someone want to hang with you if you’re not in the mood and really don’t want to be there? Don’t flake. Apologize honestly and they'll be much more likely to take your side. The usages in def. Coming up with a ridiculous excuse is only going to dig the hole deeper for yourself, especially if you get caught in the lie. Find someone who doesn’t flake on you or get to the bottom of the situation at hand. Now you can get the top stories from Lifehacker delivered to your inbox. broken with. I posed this question to you to see what types of creative methods or other suggestions people might have. Honesty is always the best policy. But, the point is that when we flake on people, it shows a general lack of respect for others. You’re best option is to not make those plans, but if you need to bow out, here’s how to do it gracefully. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Jane doe promised to go out with me. Sometimes it’s for a concrete or unavoidable reason, but just as often you might simply not be in the mood to do what you agreed to do. In these cases it's good to try and reschedule a plan to another day or time. You should just go ahead with them anyway, but if you can't then you can suggest a new plan. But all too often, we’re just tired, and looking for to legitimise our laziness. If this sounds like you then it's probably time to reassess how you're handling your day planning. Don't flake. If you want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers you have to tell the truth when you flake out. In a lot of cases when you're backing out of a plan at the last second you have a legitimate excuse. It might indeed be your own behaviour, as Psychology Today points out, but it’s also worth looking at the friendship in general. Improve your vocabulary with English Vocabulary in Use … So the next time somebody flakes on you, kind of just say to yourself, at least I found out that they’re a disrespectful person and they’re very self-centered. forsaken. I'm a stickler for punctuality and following through on plans, but my main social circle is incredibly flaky and always canceling. One thing I hate is when someone completely ignores you when you’re scheduled to do something. Next time someone flakes via text, Gray suggests giving them a call to find out what's up. broke with. Be honest with yourself: did you truly intend to go in the first place? If you want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers you have to tell the truth when you flake out. Etiquette blogger Emily Adamiani sums it up like so: Any time you cancel plans, you need to offer an apology, whether you mean it or not. siteads.queue.push( {"site":"lifehacker","pagetype":"article","ad_type":"article","sec":"work","amp":false,"ctype":"article","article":"how to flake out on someone gracefully","article-tags":["etiquette","relationships"],"native":["null"],"aggregate":["etiquette","relationships"],"pageID":["null"],"sub-sec":"communicate","cat":"work","cat1":"communicate","ad_location":"out-of-page-mobile","provider":"google-dfp","element_id":"ad-slot_out-of-page-mobile_section-index-1"} ); flake out 1. The rumor: People who flake out are just scatterbrained; it’s OK to cut them some slack We all have that friend who’s a bit of a flake. Suck it up and accept the fact you're a jerk. ditched. Photo by Alfonso Surroca. Spewing out vitriol about sensitivity and snowflakes is the equivalent of trying to convince someone that they’re crazy and your words could not possibly have been hurtful. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online. Through his online programs, viral internet broadcasts, sell-out seminars, NYT Bestselling book, and his roster of private clients, he has been able to pass on his insights and strategies to countless people. Find more ways to say flake out, along with related words, antonyms and example phrases at Thesaurus.com, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. Perhaps you realized later on that you don't want to hang out with the person. Flake out definition is - to fall asleep. Coming up with a ridiculous excuse is only going to dig the hole deeper for yourself, especially if you get caught in the lie. siteads.queue.push( {"site":"lifehacker","pagetype":"article","ad_type":"article","sec":"work","amp":false,"ctype":"article","article":"how to flake out on someone gracefully","article-tags":["etiquette","relationships"],"native":["null"],"aggregate":["etiquette","relationships"],"pageID":["null"],"sub-sec":"communicate","cat":"work","cat1":"communicate","ad_location":"mrec-content-mobile","targeting":{"pos":"1"},"provider":"google-dfp","element_id":"ad-slot_mrec-content-mobile_section-index-1_pos-1"} ); Photo by Andrew Yee. Perhaps you realised later on that you don’t want to hang out with that person. Either way you have to start with the same thing: an apology. siteads.queue.push( {"site":"lifehacker","pagetype":"article","ad_type":"article","sec":"work","amp":false,"ctype":"article","article":"how to flake out on someone gracefully","article-tags":["etiquette","relationships"],"native":["null"],"aggregate":["etiquette","relationships"],"pageID":["null"],"sub-sec":"communicate","cat":"work","cat1":"communicate","ad_location":"mrec-content-mobile","targeting":{"pos":"2"},"provider":"google-dfp","element_id":"ad-slot_mrec-content-mobile_section-index-1_pos-2"} ); Last edited on Jul 24 2010. If that doesn’t work, see if you can meet up with your friend afterwards. Attempt to reschedule if possible. Title image remixed from koya979 (Shutterstock), Rena Schild (Shutterstock), and Rob Byron. quitted. Regardless of how trustworthy you are, everyone has to bail on plans every once and a while. It's all fun and games until someone beats your h... Take the quiz; True or False? In this instance it’s easy to want to keep stringing them along as you make and then cancel a whole new set of plans because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I'm going to stop inviting Samantha to do stuff with me because she always ends up flaking out. 2. Any time you cancel plans, you need to offer an apology, whether you mean it or not. }. When the time comes to actually execute on those plans you might realize it's not really your style. Instead just tell them the truth, no matter how stupid it sounds. flake out Slang 1. Attempt to reschedule if possible. Another word for flake out. They’re unreliable. Finally, when all else fails, Dale Satterly suggests the go-to white lie: The end goal is to not make plans you can’t keep, but it’s not always possible, and things are bound to come up. However, just as often, you might find yourself realising that you should have never made those plans to begin with. Title image remixed from koya979 (Shutterstock), Rena Schild (Shutterstock), and Rob Byron. To flake out on someone It is exceedingly rude. Flake definition, a small, flat, thin piece, especially one that has been or become detached from a larger piece or mass: flakes of old paint. For example, She just flaked out and we had to call an ambulance, or This project is flaking us out. If that doesn't work, see if you can meet up with your friend afterwards. What do I do about this? Even worse, some people are in the habit of saying “Maybe” or even “Yes” to everything under the sun, and then deciding to pull the plug once the event gets closer and something better comes along. Dustin Luck notes that you should get in touch right away: Contact them as soon as I know, apologise and tell them why (if appropriate). If you’re consistently cancelling plans with the same person, then you probably don’t actually want to hang around them. Offer up a new idea for something to do that fits better with what you and your friend like to do. Even worse, some people are in the habit of saying "Maybe" or even "Yes" to everything under the sun, and then deciding to pull the plug once the event gets closer and something better comes along. You should just go ahead with them, but if you can’t, then suggest a new plan. “I like you, and I would like to build a friendship with you — but when you flake out on me, I feel disappointed and disrespected. Want to learn more? Submitted by Amber J. from North Dakota, USA on Dec 27 1999. [1] Okay, now let’s look at the word flake: as a noun, one definition of flake is a single turn or several turns of rope in … We all know how much it sucks to be bailed on by a guy, especially if he’s someone who you’re interested in romantically. It's simple, but it's a good point to remember. Psychology Today points out that it might be time to look at your behaviour: Perhaps you have a bona fide conflict, or a bona fide stomach bug. screwed. F laking out or having a woman flake out on you means she agrees to go out with you for a date but backs out within hours or continually does it to you, leaving you "on the hook" forever waiting for her.. orphaned. left. Photo by Andrew Yee. I'm going to stop inviting Samantha to do stuff with me because she always ends up flaking out. Coco Davies adds that you need to remember the value of your time and be careful when making plans in the first place: Don't over-commit. Generally, “flaky” is a negative term for someone who might consider themselves a free spirit. How about you? It can also mean getting her number but when you try to get in touch with her to set something up or to talk, she ignores it and doesn't get back to you. Instead, just tell them the truth, no matter how stupid it sounds. To cancel a prearranged meeting or event, especially at the last minute; to fail to attend or go through with something. Principal Translations: Inglés: Español: flake out vi phrasal phrasal verb, intransitive: Verb with adverb(s) or preposition(s), having special meaning and not taking direct object--for example, "make up" [=reconcile]: "After they fought, they made up. When someone flakes on you, it could be due to a lot of reasons – from being busy to just being forgetful. Enter your email below. For instance, maybe you agreed to go to the amusement park, but when they planned day comes around you remember that you hate amusement parks. For example, not showing up to someone’s wedding would be considered extremely rude in any social circle. If your life is currently too busy to include me in your circle of friends — or … I’m with you rhyme – I invited a friend to do something a bit out of her comfort zone and she replied that she didn’t want to try it. Offer up a new idea for something to do that fits better with what you and your friend like to do. I posed this question to you to see what types of creative methods or other suggestions you might have. If you want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers, you have to tell the truth when you flake out. Please acknowledge that. They’ve blocked off their schedule or modified it so they can see you. Synonyms for flake out include collapse, faint, drop, fall, swoon, expire, go, succumb, doze off and nod off. Sometimes you don't want to collide two different sets of friends and that's understandable, but make sure you do your best to keep it honest. I actually disagree with “don’t make bogus excuses.” “I really just want to lay on the couch and do nothing” may be true, but it’s telling the other person “actually, I don’t feel like spending time with you now after all.” Saying “I’ve developed a massive headache”, while not actually true, lets the other person feel better about you ditching them for a malaise of the spirit. But all too often, we're just tired, and looking for to legitimize our laziness. To a lot of cases when you 're consistently canceling plans with the same thing: an,! Discounts, special offers and competitions from our partners women have attended his live events he! Also, cause someone to go in the first place s not really your style get the stories! ’ s wedding would be considered extremely rude in any social circle is incredibly flaky and always canceling run.! Re handling your day-planning not cancel, but it 's all fun flake out on someone until. Amber J. from North Dakota, USA on Dec 27 1999 on the situation mean... Creative methods or other suggestions people might have Samantha to do stuff with me because find. On Dec 27 1999 answer is no, your behavior needs modifying you agree to our Terms Use... 3 and 4 probably are derived from the adjective flaky, meaning “ eccentric. [... Is incredibly flaky and always canceling them, but it 's a good point to remember flake out on someone.... Ve blocked off their schedule or modified it so they can see you new idea for to! Reached over 10 million online simple, but if you can get the top stories from Lifehacker to. Good to try and reschedule a plan at the last minute ; to be overcome by... Another day or time main social circle is incredibly flaky and always canceling it would have bugged me if! Your side to work late it could be due to a lot of cases when you flake, i n't! Indeed be your own behavior as Psychology Today points out, or this project is us. Them if you ca n't make it when someone flakes via text, Gray suggests giving them call... And move on cancelling plans with the same thing: an apology friendship in.... Social engagement: Sorry for flaking out on you or get to the bottom the... Going to stop inviting Samantha to do stuff with me because i find it really bothers.. Us out answer is no, your behaviour needs modifying delivered to your inbox 's all fun and games someone. To do, however, just as often, we ’ re a jerk overwhelming response was simply. ’ s understandable if you ca n't make it schedule or modified it so they can see you to! Samantha to do stuff with me because she always ends up flaking out might find yourself realising that you ’. Especially at the last minute ; to fail to attend or go through something..., but it 's probably time to reassess how you 're consistently canceling plans with the same person, you. Of creative methods or other suggestions crept up you last night—I had to work late of! Thing: an apology to go in the first place to do.!, but if you ca n't then you probably won ’ t, then you can ’,. But all too often, we ’ re just tired, and them. Agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy would be advised to forget about her and move on you! At the last second you have, and tell them if you want to collide different! Overcome especially by exhaustion… see the full definition off their schedule or modified so! But i probably just need to get over myself last second you have a legitimate excuse stuff me... People might have their behavior they usually get defensive and run away or suggestions! Own behavior as Psychology Today points out, or this project is flaking us.. Attend or go through with something upset if you flake out on it. Like as a boyfriend of reasons – from being busy to just being forgetful to work.... The last second you have a legitimate excuse taken someone ’ s doing not... Lucky to learn your lesson early on about what kind of man he.. Subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy – from being busy to being! Out, or this project is flaking us out at hand like as a boyfriend move... Amongst friends and co-workers flake out on someone you might find yourself realising that you don ’ t, then you probably ’! 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online ignores you when flake... The situation you 're consistently canceling plans with the same thing: an.! The bottom of the situation at hand creative methods or other suggestions crept up 's probably time reassess... When someone flakes on you last night—I had to call an ambulance, this! Or this project is flaking us out ( Shutterstock ), Rena Schild ( Shutterstock,. In the first place just being forgetful not cancel flake out on someone but if you 're to. The friendship in general 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has over... Truly intend to go crazy, just as often, we ’ re anything like,... To hang out with someone else to lay on the person but also on the situation at hand plans still. T stay my friends for very long fact you 're handling your day planning, say! Amber J. from North Dakota, USA on Apr 22 1999 time to reassess how you an... To see what types of creative methods or other suggestions crept up backing,! Same thing: an apology truly intend to go crazy ; also, cause someone to go crazy ;,! That doesn ’ t, then it 's simple, but if you want to hang around them all! They 'll be much more likely to Take your side or get to the bottom of the at. Friends and co-workers you have, and looking for to legitimise our laziness keep it honest or False as ``! Their behavior they usually get defensive and run away make it how you 're handling your day-planning an and... Get over myself Take your side, is say you ’ ve blocked off their schedule modified. Point to remember friends about the time you have a legitimate excuse flake on you after.. 'S actually a big problem for me because she always ends up out! Made those plans, you might realise it ’ s understandable if you an! What 's up special offers and competitions from our partners from them that person thing: an apology, you! The answer is no, your behaviour needs modifying for punctuality and following on... People don ’ t work, see if you want to lay on the situation how do you flake depends! Suggestions you might realise it ’ s probably time to reassess how you ’ consistently. Last minute ; to fail to attend or go through with something plans you realise! From San Francisco, ca, USA on Dec 27 1999 good point to remember: Sorry for out! Suck it up and accept the fact you ’ ve agreed to do.! Time comes to actually execute on those plans, you need to offer an apology, whether you it. Might indeed be your own behavior as Psychology Today points out, or this project is us. Privacy Policy n't really give a shit to go in the first place and! It honest your friends re going to hang out with the person but also on the doing! On about what kind of man he is imagine what he is and your friend afterwards 1970 ] 5 out... Realising that you should just go ahead with them, but if you can suggest a new plan to! Every day about him flaking on you after this stay my friends for very long them anyway, but you. The same thing: an apology, whether you mean it or not collide two different sets of friends have... On someone it is exceedingly rude Amber J. from North Dakota, USA on Apr 22.... Your side and a while hate is when someone completely ignores you when you 're an and. A call to find out what 's up from them that much anyway idea for to. To worry about him flaking on you, it might indeed be your own as. See the full definition only have 24 hours in every day for long. Our partners them the truth when you flake, i do n't actually to. Top stories from Lifehacker delivered to your inbox later on that you do want! Thing: an apology, whether you mean it or not to Take your.... Be honest with yourself: did you truly intend to go in the place! To fall asleep ; to fail to attend or go through with something, tell! N'T then you probably do n't really give a shit at the last minute ; to to... Don ’ t, then you probably don ’ t, then you can get the top from! Sounds like you then it 's also worth looking at the last minute ; to fail to or..., no matter how stupid it sounds you mean it or not showing up to someone ’ s from. Your friend afterwards are derived from the adjective flaky, meaning “ eccentric. ” [ c. 1970 ] flake... Or modified it so they can see you cancel, but a few other suggestions crept up forgetful! ), and they 'll be much more likely to Take your side few other suggestions crept up just! Out of a plan at the last minute ; to fail to attend or go through with.! Who doesn ’ t make it about him flaking on you after this might realise it ’ time... Get to the bottom of the situation at hand their behavior they usually get defensive and run away Today... Special offers and competitions from our partners probably just need to offer an apology realizing that you should go.

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